Movie Review: Battle : Los Angeles

Saving Private Santa Monica

Battle LA is kind of a mess, and my frustration with the film is compounded by the fact that, between various trailers, websites, posters, and the actual movie's opening titles, the filmmakers aren't quite sure what to tell us the name of their stupid movie is. That's appropriate because I've seen Battle: Los Angeles/ Battle LA/ Battle Los Angeles, and I still don't know what the film was.

I do know of what it consists, though: derivative action scenes set amidst an alien invasion of Los Angeles, interspersed with cliched, troubled-men-at-war dialogue. Aaron Eckhart stars as Ssgt. Michael Nantz, a Santa Monica marine on the verge (of course) of retiring. He is unable to live as a non-combatant, however, when pesky aliens invade major cities...looking for ocean water to steal(?!). Forced back into action, Nantz joins the platoon of Lt. William Martinez (Ramon Rodriguez, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen). Tension between these two leaders- Nantz is second in command- compounds with past drama between the soldiers. However, not every conflict comes to fruition because the space beings attack the beach by sea and air. Our heroes fight through Santa Monica trying to rescue civilian survivors.

First-time director Jonathan Liebesman doesn't make good use of L.A. as a backdrop, as firefights with the cliched, gross aliens take place on indiscriminate overpasses and the like. Eckhart is really wasted on the material, a weak script by Christopher Bertolini. (Seriously, how many different films have you seen that feature a military man handing in his papers, only to be given some inescapable reason to join back up?)

The special effects, however, are nice to look at. The space craft have a particularly District 9 look, as sci-fi has moved into the realm of gritty, shaky-cam realism.

Skip this one,

ValkyrieSDF1

Movie Review: The Adjustment Bureau

Guarding all the doors, holding all the keys.

The Adjustment Bureau is the perfect late Winter film, one that will make back its budget for its studio but would be crushed if it was released just two months later, amidst the avalanche of expensive CGI-fests we can expect each Summer.

I'm a sucker for great movie trailers, and The Adjustment Bureau had me with a smartly edited collage set to some of my favorite music, the theme from Danny Boyle's Sunshine. Walking into the theater, however, I knew that this Matt Damon vehicle would possess nowhere near the momentum of that unstoppable space station. Usual writer George Nolfi (The Bourne Ultimatum) tries his hand at directing for the first time here, adapting a Philip K. Dick short story. He does an admirable job, using modern special effects craftily and manipulating our view as handily as the film's namesake organization of fedoraed agents. The script, and a weak ending, are the problem here.

Damon plays David Norris, a New York politician in the running for United States Senate. The mysterious Adjustment Bureau have been manipulating his life from the beginning, and when some of their agents near David err, they are revealed to him. He is told the truth: that the Bureau controls the world from behind the scenes. He also learns that he is destined to become President. But to have a successful career he must give up Elise (Emily Blunt, The Wolfman), a woman he has recently fallen in love with. David decides to defy his destiny, and the Bureau's Plan, to be with Elise.

Visually interesting (the Bureau's main trick consists of walking through random Manhattan doorways that teleport them long distances around the city in an instant) and featuring an attractive cast, The Adjustment Bureau simply gives up on answering any tough questions, or making any accusations against anyone or anything, worldly or otherworldly. This one won't stick around for very long. But don't worry; louder movies are on the way.

Movie Review: Unknown

I don't know about this.

There isn't terribly much to say about Unknown, the entirely forgettable thriller from Spanish director Jaume Collet-Serra (House of Wax).

The most unknown fact about this film in today's world is that it is not, in fact, Taken 2, though the Warner Brothers campaign machine seems to view that as the best way to sell the picture. It certainly does qualify as a thriller, though, and the exciting moments are the only thing that give this Liam Neeson vehicle any chance at success.

Neeson plays Dr. Martin Harris, an American scientist arriving in Berlin with his lovely wife Elizabeth (January Jones) for a biotechnology conference. Leaving her at their hotel, Martin grabs a quick taxi back to the airport for his forgotten passport, therefore conveniently lacking any identification on his person when the cab plunges into the river, and Martin ends up in a coma as a result. When he comes to four days later, no one knows him, and the cab driver who saved his life, Gina (Diane Kruger), refuses to help him. Martin soon learns that another man is posing as him at the conference, and for some reason Liz says that she doesn't know Martin.


Unknown is one part Regarding Henry, three overdone parts Frantic and two final parts Bourne again, all reflecting Neeson's current state of mind. The combination of these different narrative archetypes is the closest thing the film has to originlity, as the shaky-cam fist fights and hyper Euro-car chases have all been done before.

The production values of Unknown are more than adequate, but the performances are not. Neeson exudes his usual nobility and charisma, very appropriate for an accomplished professor, but Jones is terribly outclassed as his wife, and the attractive yet plain actress appears as a child in their scenes together. Kruger fares better. Making appearances that can't possibly save the film are Aidan Quinn and Frank Langella.

Skip this one. For better action and drama around an amnesia story, check out the Bourne trilogy.

I Need to Get to Know Terry Malick

I will finally see The Thin Red Line this weekend, and it has been a long time in coming. To top off this wonderful eventuality, I will be watching it on Criterion blu. That's a heck of a way to meet a movie.

Check out the wonderful trailer after below.



Cheers

Best of the Decade

As a movie nerd, I can't help myself. I have to copy everyone else and list my top 10 movies of the past decade. Let it be clear that these are on here because they balance artistic validity with appeal; they appeal to me. Their order is none in particular.

Following are all of the honorable mentions I couldn't fit in 1 through 10.

Top 10 Movies- 2000-2009

1. Gladiator (2000)

2. Road to Perdition (2002)

3. Children of Men (2006)

4. Sunshine (2007)

5. Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

6. Watchmen (2009)

7. Moon (2009)

8. Gone Baby Gone (2007)

9. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

10. No Country for Old Men (2007)

Best Western

Open Range (2003)

Best Sci-Fi Movie

Pandorum (2009)

Best Sports Movie

Miracle (2004)

Best Horror

28 Days Later (2002)

Best Comedy

who cares???

Best Action

The Bourne Identity (2002)

Most Unforgettable Movie of the Decade

The Road (2009)

The Smurfs Look Even Cartoon-ier in 2-D

My search for reference-quality blu-rays had a close call last month, as I narrowly avoided buying one of the Transformer films just to have them. Instead, I went with a movie I can actually stand, Avatar.

This movie was like a gosh darn roller coaster in 3-D, and the computer animation was the most convincing I'd ever seen. However, even though the blu-ray is probably the best ever made, it can't make the Na'Vi look like they're anything other than cartoons. So half the movie looks like a cartoon. The 3-dimensional effect is the only thing that made Cameron's movie look like the greatest achievement in visual effects ever. And the other half looks like it was shot on home video. The whole movie might just as well have been made in a computer.

If I had wanted to buy a cartoon on blu-ray, I would have bought Toy Story.

Sorry

Sorry it's been three months. I have never-ending internet issues, but I won't tell you that they are the fault of my landlord and Verizon FIOS.

More blogging coming soon.